Mother Duck

This past Sunday evening, my husband took our dog for a walk. When he returned to the house, he told me that there was a mother duck going crazy in the street near our house. My friend, Sue, was visiting at the time; the three of us headed over to see what was happening. The poor mother was in a frenzy, and we could hear peeping. It turns out that her six ducklings all went down the sewer drain.

Brian and Sue went back to our house to call the police to see if any thing could be done while I kept watch. Sue returned with a fishing net and was able to slip it through the grates and ultimately retrieved four ducklings. The other two had wandered further down the pipes, and we no longer heard them. Mother duck was so happy to have the four back, and she wandered off. A police officer did stop, and he told us that they get at least one call a year about ducklings having dropped through the sewer grates.

While I was keeping watch, a car stopped and out stepped this older black woman. She said to me, "What is wrong with Mama?" I told her what had happened, and she shared the concern. Then after the ducklings were safely back with their mother, I was snapping a photo of them near the Viking Towers housing complex. A black man was sitting outside and asked what had happened. When I told him the story, his reply was "thank you for doing that; you are Godly to have done that."

So I learned some very important lessons during this ordeal. We are all alike in some ways, and when events like this happen it brings us together. I also noticed the irony in that without mankind mother duck would have lost those ducklings, but on the other hand, if it hadn't been for mankind there would be no sewer drains. It's a complicated world!

Thought for the day: In each of us, there is a little of all of us. George Lichtenberg

Ode to Summer

Just a brief note to celebrate the arrival of summer. While it's not officially summer yet, the earth and air is oozing with new birth, green, birds, insects and heat. It was close to 95 degrees yesterday and possibly will repeat that today. Not a word of complaint will be uttered; just turn the fans up and curtail activity.

If I look back at my March posts and try to imagine the process of simply surviving the long winter, it's very difficult to capture those feelings. I have moved on to a different season and with that, I have lost those feelings of despair. Seems a reflection of our own lives, does it not? For every thing there is a season, and we need to experience them all in order to fully become ourselves.

Thought for the day: The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe; to match your nature with nature. Joseph Campbell

Church of the Open Porch

Today is my 52nd birthday, and I began it by doing two of my favorite things--drinking coffee and sitting on my front porch. In a matter of minutes I witnessed a crow trying to balance on the evergreen branch and a scene of two regular squirrels and one black squirrel fighting for position on a tree. Seems like things work the same way in their world--the black squirrel was aced out and pushed into the street.

These days I prefer to spend Sunday mornings on the porch rather than in the church pew. This is all part of my spiritual journey. Life began in the Lutheran church where I spent thirty years of my trek. I then began to question some of their practices and went on to a non-denominational church where I spent about ten years before once again my curious and questioning nature took over. All of these experiences were necessary in my journey, and I'm grateful for all the memories and lessons learned. However, at this point I don't miss the standard church experience and am very satisfied with seeing God in nature. I don't feel close to what I currently perceive as God in a building, but when I am in nature and still is when I feel enveloped by some thing larger than myself.

Having the freedom of religion that this country has should include the ability to choose to find spiritual fulfillment on your own front porch. We cannot know what is in another's heart; we only need to work on finding peace in our own.

Thought for the day: I am so absorbed in the wonder of earth and the life upon it that I cannot think of heaven and angels. Pearl S. Buck

It's A Miracle!

Today I sat on my front porch, drank coffee and watched the birds. These are the simple things I waited for in the depths of winter. Today the windows were open, the birds were singing, the grass is green, daffodils and tulips are blooming. All things that a short while ago seemed like an impossibility. So I guess Mother Nature is still on schedule and doing just fine.

Thought for the day: The dream was always running ahead of me. To catch up, to live for a moment in unison with it, that was the miracle. Anais Nin

Losing Hope

No, I haven't actually lost hope. What we did lose was our sweet gentle spirited cat, Hope. She left us yesterday morning after having been a part of our lives for 18 years.

We got her as a kitten from Minnie Osterholt who lived on a farm near Nelson, MN where I grew up. My girls and I went to pick out a kitten, and the one we wanted kept running away. So we picked a black and white one that stayed put. We brought her home in one of Minnie's egg baskets. One of the first things Hope did was get her head stuck in a small hole on the back of our stove. I figured out how to get her out by taking one ear out at a time.

She was a very quiet cat; she never meowed. The only time she made alot of noise is when she went "sock hunting" and then she let out a loud primal sound. If she was outside and wanted to get in, she wouldn't make a sound; just look in the window until you noticed.

She loved to be touched and always purred. In fact, she purred up until her last moments. When she was taken to the vet this past winter, the staff tried to get her to stop purring so they could listen to her lungs.

We noticed over the past couple months that she wasn't acting quite herself, and these past two weeks she rapidly went downhill. She lost weight, ate less, changed her station from the chair to the couch. Her breathing was very labored this past week, and we checked on her frequently. Yesterday I looked at her and then went outside to do some chores and upon coming back in a few minutes later, she was gone. I held her for awhile, and then we placed her in the basement until our daughter, Olivia, could get home. She sewed a beautiful burial bag for Hope, and we placed her in the ground with some photos and our thoughts of her (along with a can of tuna provided by Olivia).

The loss didn't quite hit me until early this morning when I awoke to feel the vacuum in the house which was the emptiness of no longer having this gentle quiet spirit in our midst. She didn't say much, but she was always there simply watching our lives.

There is no plan to replace her; it wouldn't be possible to do so. We will just live with our sweet memories of a black and white furball that loved to purr.

Thought for the day: The only beautiful thing in the world whose beauty lasts forever is a pure, fair soul. Bram Stoker

One Step Ahead

As we near the middle of March, and the winds are gusting to 45 mph, I continue to stay one step ahead of depression. I say one step ahead because so far I haven't totally stopped functioning or taken permanently to my bed. There is the feeling, however, that if I took one misstep, I'd be over the edge of the cliff trying to crawl out of the pit.

Last night I went to bed at 7:30 and slept 12 hours. That is where I feel the most safe when my life comes to this point. There is no place like my bed snuggled under three blankets with the knowledge that all is well here. Today I have managed to get a few things done around the house; some moments I sit and stare ahead unable to get up and do the other chores that beckon me. There is also the feeling that I could begin weeping at any moment, but it never comes.

So maybe I'll just head for that safe place again and charge my inner strength so I am able to once again face what life has in store for me today.

Thought for the day: Keep breathing.......Sophie Tucker

The Sting of Winter

Snow is again falling on this bleak March morning. My soul is crying out and asking, will it ever end? I feel like a black hole opened up in December, and I have been trying to crawl out ever since. I find myself longing for the day when I can again sit on my front porch, feel the fresh breezes and hear the birds chirping. I'm wondering if the perennials will ever again burst forth from the now frozen ground. My hands want to grab clumps of dirt, and my feet are missing their connection to the earth.

Even though my rational mind tells me that in just a few short weeks, all this will come to pass, my soul doesn't believe it. It's like being in the throes of depression where rationality goes out the window.

The days are getting longer, and a couple of weeks from now we will again turn our clocks ahead, and we will begin to see glimmers of the hope of springtime. The question remains: will my rational mind impel me to savor every spring moment? Or will the routine of life again take over and cause me to miss what I am so longing for today? Time will tell.

Thought for the day: If we are not truly ourselves, truly in the present moment, we miss everything. Thich Naht Hahn