Going Confidently

Today I embark on a new chapter in life as yesterday was my last day of work. In November when we moved to Wisconsin, I had no choice but to find a job as we have two mortgages. So I found a part time position as a dental receptionist. It seemed like the perfect job because I no longer had to do insurance claims plus it was only 15-18 hours a week. Well, in the 8 months I was there, my hours changed at least four times. In March the dentist decided to sell the practice and move out of state so there have been some stressful times as a new owner took over and then my hours soared to about 32 a week. So since our Minnesota home is now rented, I decided to take the plunge and quit my job. I really enjoy being home and tending to the house, cooking, gardening, etc. I also feel most alive when I can spend more time with my children and grandchildren. So while we will be poor as church mice, (not sure why church mice are poorer than other mice) I am anticipating my happiness rating to go through the roof.

I am starting another blog today which is titled "Go Confidently". It is based on a Henry David Thoreau quote that I have always enjoyed. My daughter gave me a poster of it awhile back and when I would pass it, I would contemplate what it said, and it gave me the courage to quit my job and try to make it work.

If you want to check it out, it is www.kristin-schwartz.blogspot.com. I hope to write regularly as I take this new journey.

Thought for the day: He who is contented is rich Lao Tzu

Junk for Jesus?

I question things that I see some times, but I usually just let it go. However, at times there are things that really catch my eye and take me down the path of questioning other things.

Recently I saw this ad in our local paper, and while I know the intention is good, it just doesn't seem right. A local church was having a fundraiser, and the title was Junk for Jesus.

Now I feel that Jesus gets a bad rap quite often. He was a simple man with humble beginnings who questioned the authority of the time and proposed ideas that didn't go over very well. He was a champion for the less privileged and his main thrust was LOVE. The only time we saw him angry was when he accused the moneychangers of making the temple a den of thieves. It was righteous anger.

Now we ask what would Jesus do? (WWJD), we see signs that say Honk if you love Jesus, we do and say things in his name that have absolutely no ties to who he really was. I would have to say that Christmas is the best example: we now have an entire country (USA) that could not sustain their economy without holiday spending. We start seeing Christmas stuff in October and it goes well into January with post-Christmas deals. This is all supposedly to honor a man who was born in a stable, had no material possessions and told us it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Some thing just isn't right with this picture.

So when I saw this ad, my heart once again went out to Jesus and the stuff he has to endure.

Thought for the day: A bumper sticker states: I Bet Jesus Would Have Used His Turn Signal

(You see what I mean!!)

You Hate Me!

Recently my granddaughter, Melody, came for a visit. We had been camping (her first time) and before she left on Sunday, we were in the backyard watering the gardens and filling the bird baths. Suddenly she started crying, ran onto the deck and yelled, "you hate me!"

It turns out she had stepped on a thistle which was in front of the bird bath, and she felt that I was somehow responsible for her pain. I sat with her on the deck and assured her that I did not hate her, I loved her very much and was very sorry. I did not know the thistle was there.

What I really wanted to tell her was there is no way I could ever hate her. No matter what you do or say, I will never hate you. My love for you is so deep and wide, there almost isn't room for it. Love filled my whole being from the first moment I saw you. I wanted to always be able to protect her and make her happy even though I know that isn't possible. She saw me as her protector, and I let her down.

I will from this time forward making sure there are no thistles in my yard.

Thought for the day: A Grandmother is a Mother who has a second chance

Corn

We had our first taste of sweet corn this past week, and it triggered memories of past corn experiences. Living in Wisconsin, I pass massive fields of corn every day. It is only mid-July, and the corn is already tasseled which is very early according to my memories. I also remember my parents telling me "knee high by the 4th of July". This used to be the standard for corn; this year on the 4th of July, the corn was easily six feet high.

It was always fun to walk down the rows of corn and feel like you were in a jungle. Many times I was warned about how people can get lost in cornfields, and you can never find them. I often wondered how that could be possible as long as you stayed in one row and just kept going. Perhaps you would get so confused and eventually distraught that a person wouldn't be able to stay in one row. Who knows?

My parents always raised wonderful sweet corn, and it was quite well known around the area. The brand name was Bodacious, and it was an all yellow variety. They used to sell it at the end of the driveway or used "the honor system" if we weren't home. My children got to sell it and keep the money. They would look forward to that every year. I don't think it was ever a money making business for my parents; just a fun thing to do. My mother would freeze large amounts in the fall so we could enjoy it all winter.

When we lived in Minnesota, Schonberg's corn was the best. He had an organic system, and it was bi colored and absolutely delicious. Starting in August, we would have sweet corn with our meals at least twice a week. Some times in the fall, I would buy large amounts and freeze it.

Who would think that corn could encompass so many memories? Now I am making new corn memories as I share it with grandchildren.

Thought for the day: Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is the pencil, and you are thousands of miles away from the corn field. Dwight D Eisenhower

A Joyful Experience

On May 20th another new bundle of joy arrived in the world. This time I was there throughout the whole experience. I spoke with my daughter, Olivia, a couple days before and told her I had a feeling that Sunday was going to be the day. She called me on Saturday to notify me that labor pains had started so I jumped in the car and headed for her house. When I went to bed I assumed she would be waking me up in the middle of the night, but I slept the whole night and was surprised to awake in the morning to find that labor had not progressed.

We decided to go for a walk to try to get things going, and I believe finally headed to the hospital about 10:00 a.m. Well, we went the whole day walking the hallways without much progress so it was decided early evening to break the water, and then we were on our way.

Aria Joy was born, and I was the first one to see her (except the midwife, of course) plus I got to cut the cord. How awesome!! I also have to add that words can hardly describe the admiration and love I felt for my daughter as I watched her go through this experience with grace, strength and peace.

We were really trying to get her born on the 20th because my daughter had expressed wanting her to be born on an even day, and she made it. After hearing about this, I did some research and discovered that everyone in my family (parents, siblings, children, grandchildren) had all been born on even days which is an oddity.

So now I have four grandchildren and consider myself so blessed, and I love them all so much!!

Thought for the day: Any one who thinks women are the weaker sex have never witnessed childbirth.

Welcome to our world, Ethan Erik Flowers

On April 22nd, 2012 the first boy in our family entered the world.  I had three daughters and so far have two granddaughters.  Now we have little Ethan Erik who is Tahnee and Erik's son and joins Aubree.
I was able to make the trek to Brainerd last weekend to meet the little guy and get to know him as I have my other two, and I am in love again.
It will take me some time to know what to do with a boy, and I'm not sure I'll be quite as quick on the draw to change his diapers as I have been with the girls, but I'll learn.  Tahnee was sprayed a few times last weekend so she has some learning to do, too.
So my world is expanding, and my life getting busier but it's all good.

Thought for the day:  Babies are such a nice way to start people.  Don Herold

The Dreaded Colonoscopy

When I visited my new doctor in Colfax for an annual checkup, she brought up the subject of my being due for a colonoscopy.  I grimaced and begged her to let me wait until I was 55, but she said no because I was already two years past the age when I should have had it done.  So I relented and gave in to my responsible nature and agreed.  The paperwork arrived in the mail, and they left a couple voice mails before I decided to go through with setting the date.  I methodically picked a date that was a wee bit in the future, that was after Easter so I could eat a decent meal that day and was on my days off.
So the date of April 18th rolled around in my head for weeks, and I made plans for the awful prep.  By the time April 17th came around, I had my bathroom ideas all ready.  I would have a radio, candles, essential oils, a book and my phone.  
I got off work early to begin the prep; took the four pills at 2:30 p.m. and started drinking the liquid at 4:30 p.m.   This had to be done every 15 minutes until you had consumed a half gallon.  At 6:00 p.m. it kicked in, and I was pretty much in the bathroom until 9:00 p.m.  I took a bath and was able to go to bed about 11:30 p.m.   I woke up once more at 3:00 a.m. to use the bathroom, and this time I got so weak, hot and sweaty that I almost passed out. Then it was all done, and I went back to bed only to have to wake up at 5:00 a.m. to get ready to go to the hospital.
Brian took the day off to escort me to and fro.  Every one was very helpful and courteous, and once they gave me the sedation it was all fine.  I woke up not remembering much at all, was wheeled to recovery where Brian was waiting, and they gave me a can of Coke which I enjoyed immensely.  Then since air is pumped in when the procedure is done, the air has to come out before they will let you go home.  Consequently, Brian had a good laugh about that and still does to this day.  The nurses told him he was not to scold me today about this situation.
I came home, had a little food and slept for about four hours.  Then life went back to normal, and it was all done!!  Based on the results, I have to have another one in five years.  Gee, some thing to look forward to.

Thought for the day:  the only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you would rather not.  Mark Twain

Mammogram Vortex

Today I had to have a repeat mammogram due to an area they saw on the first one. This has happened to me before so I really didn't get stressed about it or let my family know. You know how we Scandinavians are; you wouldn't want to bother any one. After the repeat views, the tech informs me that the radiologist would like me to get an ultrasound. Suddenly I felt that this may not have the outcome I had expected.

She brings me to a different room where I lay on a slab while a male tech performs the ultrasound. As I am lying there, I realize just how fragile life is and thoughts of my husband, children and grandchildren kept going through my mind. It became clear for a moment that they are really all that matters in this life. Just for those few moments I saw with clarity just how much time we spend on stuff that just doesn't matter. If the news turned out badly today, my life would change dramatically. I would want to spend as much time with those special people as possible.

Well, after they left the room to consult again with the radiologist, I lay there feeling very vulnerable and alone. It was only about five minutes, but it seemed a whole lot longer. Finally the original tech arrives to tell me that it turned out to be normal tissue and suddenly life changed once again. I got up and returned to the world almost as if nothing had happened. It felt like I had fallen into some kind of time warp. I did vow during that brief time that I would take better care of myself; that I would really try to live well and full. Perhaps having the story documented will help me remember; just maybe.

Thought for the day: sooner or later we all discover that the important moments in life are not the advertised ones; not the birthdays, the graduations, the weddings, not the great goals achieved. The real milestones are less prepossessing. they come to the door of memory unannounced, stray dogs that amble in, sniff around a bit and almost never leave. Our lives are measured by those. Susan B Anthony

Memories

Scattered throughout my home are a few items that came from my childhood home. In monetary terms, they are worth nothing, but in memories and feelings of attachment to a life now gone, they are priceless.

There is the picture that hung in my mother's kitchen that depicts an older woman and the butcher attempting to cheat each other and the Scandinavian welcome sign that is hand painted. A wicker rocking chair that actually belonged to my grandmother but also sat in my parent's bedroom is now part of my home. When I have rocked my grandchildren in it, I realize that my grandmother may have sat there rocking me at one time. I know my mother sat there with my children. Another item is a round candy tin with a photo of Santa Claus that held thread, buttons and other sewing needs. This also belonged to my grandmother.

I have the wooden pig that holds pens and pencils as well as the wooden paper holder for note writing. These two items were always there, but I have no idea where they originated.

I just know that they bring me joy and give me a small feeling of being with those whom I love but are no longer here. At the time they were just objects, but now they are concrete links to the past. Perhaps my children will have them in their homes someday as a daily reminder of days gone by.

Thought for the day: It's surprising how much memory is built around things unnoticed at the time. Barbara Kingsolver

Visitors from the West

A few weeks ago two of my dear friends from Minnesota came for a visit. I was so excited to have them make the trek to Wisconsin and spend a couple days. The time went far too quickly, of course, but we had a wonderful time together.

We played alot of games and did a ton of laughing. We walked downtown Colfax arm in arm which made a couple of the locals take a second look. The library and a couple thrift stores were visited. The gentleman at the thrift store caused us a few laughs as he complained that Colfax was no longer what it used to be. Why, there used to be a hardware store, etc. You could get any thing you needed here in Colfax. He also sang along to the radio piped into the store, and he caused one of my friends to cling to me in fear of being left alone with him in a corner of the store.

It made them feel better about my move when they saw the wonderful home we have and how I have settled in just fine. I think they left with good feelings about my new situation plus it's always nice to experience the surroundings instead of just hearing about them.

I am most grateful for these good friends.

Thought for the day: No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are throughout persuaded of each other's worth. Robert Southey

Feels Like Sunday

No matter how many years go by and the past gets further away, I can always tell when it's Sunday. There is a different feeling, and I can be instantly transported back to my childhood and beyond.

I grew up attending a small Lutheran church in Nelson, MN. Our family rarely missed a Sunday. I have fond memories of the people and the routine. My mother almost always made a big dinner on Sundays; often the meal would be cooking while we were in church and finished when we returned home. It could be beef roast, pork roast, spareribs, etc. Whatever it might be, the aroma was a welcome one upon returning home.

There might be a stop at the store for milk and always my dad would pull over to the mailbox and grab the huge Sunday newspaper. After dinner, my dad would barely make it to his recliner before succumbing to his afternoon nap. My mom, of course, would clean up the dishes and then sit on the couch. She would never admit to napping but oftentimes her head would drop. When confronted with it and a suggestion was made to lie down, her answer was always "I'm not sleeping!"

In the evening, there would be a light supper while watching 60 Minutes. In the earlier days, Sunday evening television would consist of Bonanza or The Wonderful World of Disney.

These were not lofty activities, but in my mind and soul, they are priceless. If I could have one wish from the genie, it would be to have a Sunday with my parents.

As time went on, my children enjoyed the same experiences with their grandparents. Now those times are gone, but Sundays will always have a different feeling than the other six days of the week.

Thought for the day: Sunday is the golden clasp that binds together the volume of the week. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow