Back From Outer Space

Yes, I am back.  I am not totally sure why it has been so long since my last blog entry.  I could come up with any number of excuses, I suppose.  It is summer finally after a long brutal winter.  My husband has had some major changes in his job schedule.  I turned 55 in May (less energy?)  I was busy planning a family reunion. The truth of the matter is that I just didn't feel inspired to write.  Certainly don't want to feel like blogging is just another thing to do; I want it to be enjoyable.

So today is July 1st, and I finally feel like it is time. Some times we put things off and tell ourselves that tomorrow is another day.  We will see if my inspiration is short lived or if I will be a regular blogger again.

Thought for the day:  How soon not now becomes never.  Martin Luther

Going Confidently

Today I embark on a new chapter in life as yesterday was my last day of work. In November when we moved to Wisconsin, I had no choice but to find a job as we have two mortgages. So I found a part time position as a dental receptionist. It seemed like the perfect job because I no longer had to do insurance claims plus it was only 15-18 hours a week. Well, in the 8 months I was there, my hours changed at least four times. In March the dentist decided to sell the practice and move out of state so there have been some stressful times as a new owner took over and then my hours soared to about 32 a week. So since our Minnesota home is now rented, I decided to take the plunge and quit my job. I really enjoy being home and tending to the house, cooking, gardening, etc. I also feel most alive when I can spend more time with my children and grandchildren. So while we will be poor as church mice, (not sure why church mice are poorer than other mice) I am anticipating my happiness rating to go through the roof.

I am starting another blog today which is titled "Go Confidently". It is based on a Henry David Thoreau quote that I have always enjoyed. My daughter gave me a poster of it awhile back and when I would pass it, I would contemplate what it said, and it gave me the courage to quit my job and try to make it work.

If you want to check it out, it is www.kristin-schwartz.blogspot.com. I hope to write regularly as I take this new journey.

Thought for the day: He who is contented is rich Lao Tzu

Junk for Jesus?

I question things that I see some times, but I usually just let it go. However, at times there are things that really catch my eye and take me down the path of questioning other things.

Recently I saw this ad in our local paper, and while I know the intention is good, it just doesn't seem right. A local church was having a fundraiser, and the title was Junk for Jesus.

Now I feel that Jesus gets a bad rap quite often. He was a simple man with humble beginnings who questioned the authority of the time and proposed ideas that didn't go over very well. He was a champion for the less privileged and his main thrust was LOVE. The only time we saw him angry was when he accused the moneychangers of making the temple a den of thieves. It was righteous anger.

Now we ask what would Jesus do? (WWJD), we see signs that say Honk if you love Jesus, we do and say things in his name that have absolutely no ties to who he really was. I would have to say that Christmas is the best example: we now have an entire country (USA) that could not sustain their economy without holiday spending. We start seeing Christmas stuff in October and it goes well into January with post-Christmas deals. This is all supposedly to honor a man who was born in a stable, had no material possessions and told us it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Some thing just isn't right with this picture.

So when I saw this ad, my heart once again went out to Jesus and the stuff he has to endure.

Thought for the day: A bumper sticker states: I Bet Jesus Would Have Used His Turn Signal

(You see what I mean!!)

You Hate Me!

Recently my granddaughter, Melody, came for a visit. We had been camping (her first time) and before she left on Sunday, we were in the backyard watering the gardens and filling the bird baths. Suddenly she started crying, ran onto the deck and yelled, "you hate me!"

It turns out she had stepped on a thistle which was in front of the bird bath, and she felt that I was somehow responsible for her pain. I sat with her on the deck and assured her that I did not hate her, I loved her very much and was very sorry. I did not know the thistle was there.

What I really wanted to tell her was there is no way I could ever hate her. No matter what you do or say, I will never hate you. My love for you is so deep and wide, there almost isn't room for it. Love filled my whole being from the first moment I saw you. I wanted to always be able to protect her and make her happy even though I know that isn't possible. She saw me as her protector, and I let her down.

I will from this time forward making sure there are no thistles in my yard.

Thought for the day: A Grandmother is a Mother who has a second chance

Corn

We had our first taste of sweet corn this past week, and it triggered memories of past corn experiences. Living in Wisconsin, I pass massive fields of corn every day. It is only mid-July, and the corn is already tasseled which is very early according to my memories. I also remember my parents telling me "knee high by the 4th of July". This used to be the standard for corn; this year on the 4th of July, the corn was easily six feet high.

It was always fun to walk down the rows of corn and feel like you were in a jungle. Many times I was warned about how people can get lost in cornfields, and you can never find them. I often wondered how that could be possible as long as you stayed in one row and just kept going. Perhaps you would get so confused and eventually distraught that a person wouldn't be able to stay in one row. Who knows?

My parents always raised wonderful sweet corn, and it was quite well known around the area. The brand name was Bodacious, and it was an all yellow variety. They used to sell it at the end of the driveway or used "the honor system" if we weren't home. My children got to sell it and keep the money. They would look forward to that every year. I don't think it was ever a money making business for my parents; just a fun thing to do. My mother would freeze large amounts in the fall so we could enjoy it all winter.

When we lived in Minnesota, Schonberg's corn was the best. He had an organic system, and it was bi colored and absolutely delicious. Starting in August, we would have sweet corn with our meals at least twice a week. Some times in the fall, I would buy large amounts and freeze it.

Who would think that corn could encompass so many memories? Now I am making new corn memories as I share it with grandchildren.

Thought for the day: Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is the pencil, and you are thousands of miles away from the corn field. Dwight D Eisenhower

A Joyful Experience

On May 20th another new bundle of joy arrived in the world. This time I was there throughout the whole experience. I spoke with my daughter, Olivia, a couple days before and told her I had a feeling that Sunday was going to be the day. She called me on Saturday to notify me that labor pains had started so I jumped in the car and headed for her house. When I went to bed I assumed she would be waking me up in the middle of the night, but I slept the whole night and was surprised to awake in the morning to find that labor had not progressed.

We decided to go for a walk to try to get things going, and I believe finally headed to the hospital about 10:00 a.m. Well, we went the whole day walking the hallways without much progress so it was decided early evening to break the water, and then we were on our way.

Aria Joy was born, and I was the first one to see her (except the midwife, of course) plus I got to cut the cord. How awesome!! I also have to add that words can hardly describe the admiration and love I felt for my daughter as I watched her go through this experience with grace, strength and peace.

We were really trying to get her born on the 20th because my daughter had expressed wanting her to be born on an even day, and she made it. After hearing about this, I did some research and discovered that everyone in my family (parents, siblings, children, grandchildren) had all been born on even days which is an oddity.

So now I have four grandchildren and consider myself so blessed, and I love them all so much!!

Thought for the day: Any one who thinks women are the weaker sex have never witnessed childbirth.

Welcome to our world, Ethan Erik Flowers

On April 22nd, 2012 the first boy in our family entered the world.  I had three daughters and so far have two granddaughters.  Now we have little Ethan Erik who is Tahnee and Erik's son and joins Aubree.
I was able to make the trek to Brainerd last weekend to meet the little guy and get to know him as I have my other two, and I am in love again.
It will take me some time to know what to do with a boy, and I'm not sure I'll be quite as quick on the draw to change his diapers as I have been with the girls, but I'll learn.  Tahnee was sprayed a few times last weekend so she has some learning to do, too.
So my world is expanding, and my life getting busier but it's all good.

Thought for the day:  Babies are such a nice way to start people.  Don Herold

The Dreaded Colonoscopy

When I visited my new doctor in Colfax for an annual checkup, she brought up the subject of my being due for a colonoscopy.  I grimaced and begged her to let me wait until I was 55, but she said no because I was already two years past the age when I should have had it done.  So I relented and gave in to my responsible nature and agreed.  The paperwork arrived in the mail, and they left a couple voice mails before I decided to go through with setting the date.  I methodically picked a date that was a wee bit in the future, that was after Easter so I could eat a decent meal that day and was on my days off.
So the date of April 18th rolled around in my head for weeks, and I made plans for the awful prep.  By the time April 17th came around, I had my bathroom ideas all ready.  I would have a radio, candles, essential oils, a book and my phone.  
I got off work early to begin the prep; took the four pills at 2:30 p.m. and started drinking the liquid at 4:30 p.m.   This had to be done every 15 minutes until you had consumed a half gallon.  At 6:00 p.m. it kicked in, and I was pretty much in the bathroom until 9:00 p.m.  I took a bath and was able to go to bed about 11:30 p.m.   I woke up once more at 3:00 a.m. to use the bathroom, and this time I got so weak, hot and sweaty that I almost passed out. Then it was all done, and I went back to bed only to have to wake up at 5:00 a.m. to get ready to go to the hospital.
Brian took the day off to escort me to and fro.  Every one was very helpful and courteous, and once they gave me the sedation it was all fine.  I woke up not remembering much at all, was wheeled to recovery where Brian was waiting, and they gave me a can of Coke which I enjoyed immensely.  Then since air is pumped in when the procedure is done, the air has to come out before they will let you go home.  Consequently, Brian had a good laugh about that and still does to this day.  The nurses told him he was not to scold me today about this situation.
I came home, had a little food and slept for about four hours.  Then life went back to normal, and it was all done!!  Based on the results, I have to have another one in five years.  Gee, some thing to look forward to.

Thought for the day:  the only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you would rather not.  Mark Twain

Mammogram Vortex

Today I had to have a repeat mammogram due to an area they saw on the first one. This has happened to me before so I really didn't get stressed about it or let my family know. You know how we Scandinavians are; you wouldn't want to bother any one. After the repeat views, the tech informs me that the radiologist would like me to get an ultrasound. Suddenly I felt that this may not have the outcome I had expected.

She brings me to a different room where I lay on a slab while a male tech performs the ultrasound. As I am lying there, I realize just how fragile life is and thoughts of my husband, children and grandchildren kept going through my mind. It became clear for a moment that they are really all that matters in this life. Just for those few moments I saw with clarity just how much time we spend on stuff that just doesn't matter. If the news turned out badly today, my life would change dramatically. I would want to spend as much time with those special people as possible.

Well, after they left the room to consult again with the radiologist, I lay there feeling very vulnerable and alone. It was only about five minutes, but it seemed a whole lot longer. Finally the original tech arrives to tell me that it turned out to be normal tissue and suddenly life changed once again. I got up and returned to the world almost as if nothing had happened. It felt like I had fallen into some kind of time warp. I did vow during that brief time that I would take better care of myself; that I would really try to live well and full. Perhaps having the story documented will help me remember; just maybe.

Thought for the day: sooner or later we all discover that the important moments in life are not the advertised ones; not the birthdays, the graduations, the weddings, not the great goals achieved. The real milestones are less prepossessing. they come to the door of memory unannounced, stray dogs that amble in, sniff around a bit and almost never leave. Our lives are measured by those. Susan B Anthony

Memories

Scattered throughout my home are a few items that came from my childhood home. In monetary terms, they are worth nothing, but in memories and feelings of attachment to a life now gone, they are priceless.

There is the picture that hung in my mother's kitchen that depicts an older woman and the butcher attempting to cheat each other and the Scandinavian welcome sign that is hand painted. A wicker rocking chair that actually belonged to my grandmother but also sat in my parent's bedroom is now part of my home. When I have rocked my grandchildren in it, I realize that my grandmother may have sat there rocking me at one time. I know my mother sat there with my children. Another item is a round candy tin with a photo of Santa Claus that held thread, buttons and other sewing needs. This also belonged to my grandmother.

I have the wooden pig that holds pens and pencils as well as the wooden paper holder for note writing. These two items were always there, but I have no idea where they originated.

I just know that they bring me joy and give me a small feeling of being with those whom I love but are no longer here. At the time they were just objects, but now they are concrete links to the past. Perhaps my children will have them in their homes someday as a daily reminder of days gone by.

Thought for the day: It's surprising how much memory is built around things unnoticed at the time. Barbara Kingsolver

Visitors from the West

A few weeks ago two of my dear friends from Minnesota came for a visit. I was so excited to have them make the trek to Wisconsin and spend a couple days. The time went far too quickly, of course, but we had a wonderful time together.

We played alot of games and did a ton of laughing. We walked downtown Colfax arm in arm which made a couple of the locals take a second look. The library and a couple thrift stores were visited. The gentleman at the thrift store caused us a few laughs as he complained that Colfax was no longer what it used to be. Why, there used to be a hardware store, etc. You could get any thing you needed here in Colfax. He also sang along to the radio piped into the store, and he caused one of my friends to cling to me in fear of being left alone with him in a corner of the store.

It made them feel better about my move when they saw the wonderful home we have and how I have settled in just fine. I think they left with good feelings about my new situation plus it's always nice to experience the surroundings instead of just hearing about them.

I am most grateful for these good friends.

Thought for the day: No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are throughout persuaded of each other's worth. Robert Southey

Feels Like Sunday

No matter how many years go by and the past gets further away, I can always tell when it's Sunday. There is a different feeling, and I can be instantly transported back to my childhood and beyond.

I grew up attending a small Lutheran church in Nelson, MN. Our family rarely missed a Sunday. I have fond memories of the people and the routine. My mother almost always made a big dinner on Sundays; often the meal would be cooking while we were in church and finished when we returned home. It could be beef roast, pork roast, spareribs, etc. Whatever it might be, the aroma was a welcome one upon returning home.

There might be a stop at the store for milk and always my dad would pull over to the mailbox and grab the huge Sunday newspaper. After dinner, my dad would barely make it to his recliner before succumbing to his afternoon nap. My mom, of course, would clean up the dishes and then sit on the couch. She would never admit to napping but oftentimes her head would drop. When confronted with it and a suggestion was made to lie down, her answer was always "I'm not sleeping!"

In the evening, there would be a light supper while watching 60 Minutes. In the earlier days, Sunday evening television would consist of Bonanza or The Wonderful World of Disney.

These were not lofty activities, but in my mind and soul, they are priceless. If I could have one wish from the genie, it would be to have a Sunday with my parents.

As time went on, my children enjoyed the same experiences with their grandparents. Now those times are gone, but Sundays will always have a different feeling than the other six days of the week.

Thought for the day: Sunday is the golden clasp that binds together the volume of the week. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Reflections on New Year's Eve

This New Year's Eve I am spending it alone in Colfax WI with my dog, Maxine and my grand puppy, Juno. Who would have thought a year ago that I would be living in Wisconsin and that my daughter, Lacey, would be a dog owner? I naturally assumed that I would be born and die in Minnesota, but life can change very quickly. Lacey has never really liked dogs, but now she has a cocker spaniel puppy named Juno. One thing I have learned in this life is never say never.

I can remember very few New Year's Eves. They all seem to melt into the next; probably because most of the time I am in bed before midnight. However, there are three that I do remember. The first is Y2K (2000) because the world feared that everything would fall to pieces. I also remember it because we had a fire at my dad's farm and drank Cold Duck (for my husband's sake), and my dad actually stood out by the fire with us at midnight. I will never forget that night (I hope). We all waited for the countryside to go dark at midnight, and it didn't happen. My dad would have been 86 at the time. The next one I remember was spent at our friend's house in Osakis, MN. We spent the evening at Mikko and Tudy's house with a fire in their wood burning fireplace, and our daughter Olivia was there. She slept on the floor in front of the fire with their cat, Clawdy (who is no longer with us). At midnight there was music, and we sang Auld Lang Syne. The last one I remember was two years ago when my daughter, Tahnee, and I were in Guatemala. This one is hard to beat, and I can't imagine what could surpass it. We were in Antigua, and we met my former Spanish teacher, Blanca, and her two daughters. We took them out to eat and then walked around the central park for awhile. After they left, Tahnee and I walked through the streets amazed by all the people. The streets were packed, and we watched some dancers. There were whole families out enjoying the evening. At midnight, the lights on the arch changed from 2009 to 2010, and there were fireworks. Also, we listened to the crowd countdown from ten to one in Spanish.

We then quickly went back to our room to try to get a little sleep before heading back to Minnesota early the next morning.

Thought for the day: Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors and let every new year find you a better man. Benjamin Franklin

A Weekend With Melody

Due to her parents having Christmas parties to attend, Melody was able to spend last weekend with us in our new home in Wisconsin. The last time she was here, there was no furniture. This time it seemed a bit more like Grandma's house.

Our first item of business was stopping at the Menomonie library to get books and movies. We found both, the movies being both Barbie themed. Those movies were watched several times over the course of two days. She is in that stage when Barbie is all it. I do wish for the sake of the adults that have to watch them along with the children that the plot could be mixed up a bit. It is always the sweet sugar coated Barbie characters and some type of evil witch figure. The witch always has a bumbling inept assistant. Of course, in the end, Barbie always reigns. She was especially fond of the Diamond Castle movie because one of the characters was named Melody.

Since is was close to Christmas, we did a few rounds of Jingle Bells on the banjo, piano and bell. Brian, myself and Melody took turns on the different instruments.

We also took a walk downtown to the train museum which always fascinates her. She especially is amazed by being able to walk across the actual tracks before we reach the old trains. When we told her one of the cars was 100 years old, she was shocked! It was built before her great Grandpa Peterson was born, and it was nice to see her equate time with Grandpa Peterson.

We walked to the restaurant for dinner Friday evening and downtown on Saturday evening for ice cream. There were Christmas decorations along the way, and she recognized our house when she saw the star hanging from the streetlight in front. So we gave her a little taste of small town living. She also found the drawer where we keep our change which prompted a couple walks to the dollar store.

Melody always tells me that she will wear me out and does a good job at fulfilling that.

Thought for the day: A Garden of Love grows in a Grandmother's heart.

snapshots of Colfax

Colfax WI is a village with a population of about 1200 and is located about 20 miles from Eau Claire, Chippewa Falls or Menomonie. I have learned that Wisconsin residents love football (or shall I say the Packers), hunting and drinking. You can buy alcohol here in all the grocery stores and even on Sundays. Of course, people everywhere enjoy drinking; they just don't seem to be ashamed of it. Every day the noon whistle blows in Colfax which I find charming. There is a local grocery store, two banks, two bars, post office and a public library. The people are very friendly and welcoming.

Today I walked our dog to the end of Main Street and back. While doing so, I snapped a few photos of the village. The library is located in an old building that reminds me so much of the elementary school I attended. Their claim to fame is that they are at the halfway point between the North Pole and the Equator.

I do feel at home here in Colfax; perhaps it is because I grew up on a farm and attended school and church in a small MN town. I guess when it gets right down to it, people and places really aren't that much different.

Thought for the day: The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you're doing, someone else does.

The Beverly Hillbillies??

We officially closed on our home in Colfax WI on October 28th; however, the actual moving process has been done in steps. Since Brian was working here and moved in before I did, some items were sent with him. Each time I came out here, my little VW Beetle would be loaded to the max. Once I got a job in the area and officially moved to Colfax, I had a professional mover bring all the large items as well as some tubs and boxes.

This past weekend we returned to Alexandria together so Brian could get his wonderful 1978 Ford truck that was given to him by his good friend, Bill Ellenberger. We loaded up the back of the truck with bikes, chairs, skis, etc and hoped he would actually make it through the Twin Cities and back to Colfax.

Before he pulled out, I snapped a couple photos because it reminded me of either the Beverly Hillbillies or perhaps the Depression era where families piled into their vehicles along with every thing they owned and headed out West in hope of a better life.

Those who know us would not be surprised that we would have to at least have one part of our moving experience be crazy and unique.

Thought for the day: He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away. Raymond Hull

My friend, Lois

When I was in high school, somehow I met this girl named Lois Lee. She is what some might call "special" in that she can function in the world but not at the capacity that most of us can. She did graduate from high school and has always worked in her adult life as a dishwasher. I would occasionally see her at The Brass Lantern restaurant over the years. I accompanied her to our 25th class reunion, and she knew how to work the room.

In 2004 we moved to a different home on the same street in Alexandria, and much to my surprise Lois lived right next door with her mother. Her mother lived on the main floor while Lois had an apartment upstairs and ate meals downstairs. She now was working at Perkins where she still is employed. She was so excited that I was going to be her neighbor! She got to know my daughters and eventually my granddaughters. About two years ago due to her mother's age and condition, it was decided that Lois should move to a group home setting so she was no longer officially my neighbor, but we still visited and kept in touch.

Now her mother lives in assisted living, and Lois has moved to an apartment. For the first time in her adult life, she is living totally on her own with help from a few people. Now we have moved, but I did stop and visit Lois at her new place when in Alexandria last weekend. She is quite proud of her place and is learning to cook. Before heading back to Wisconsin, I dropped off a few kitchen items that I didn't need any longer. It makes me feel good to know that some of my stuff is now being used by a good friend who is embarking on a new adventure.

Thought for the day: If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain. If I can ease one life the aching or Cool one pain, or Help one fainting robin Unto his nest again, I shall not live in vain. Emily Dickinson

Opposites

This picture says it all: Opposites do attract

Just Some Quotes

I ran across some quotes on Stumble that sum up where I'm at right now so am simply sharing them.

She turned her can'ts into cans, and her dreams into plans

She took the leap and built her wings on the way down

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the things you did do so throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. Mark Twain

you'll never leave where you are, until you decide where you would rather be.

Let your faith be bigger than your fear.

enough said

Missing in Action

It seems that I fell into some type of abyss and haven't been able to put down my thoughts until now. On July 5th my husband, Brian, started a new job with Progressive Rail and began working out of Chippewa Falls WI.

For some reason, this change really threw me off balance. He has worked out of town in the past, but at that time I still had children at home or my dad around. Now my life revolves around Brian and our home. While being glad that he found this job and really loves it, I was feeling very unhappy and lost. I really felt the winds of change blowing and resisted them.

Once I allowed myself to go with those winds and realized my current way of life may have to be altered, I was filled with peace.

It dawned on me that perhaps this isn't where I belong any longer. My children and parents are gone so the only thing holding us here is our home. There are other homes so now we are embarking on a new adventure.

More to come in the future.

Thought for the day: When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. Lao Tzu